Sunday, October 14, 2007

"Hi, my name is Brandon, and I am from the future."

When it comes to the entertainment industry, the UK is like the kid brother of the US. Everything here is hand-me-down. Movies come to theaters six months after the US release date, and American TV shows come out nearly a year after the US is finished with them. This makes me feel like I am from the future.

I always assumed that being from the future would be a huge advantage. I could find my past-self and warn me away from heartbreak, traffic accidents, and Aero bars, or I could clue me in on some sports betting (although you don't have to be from the future to know it's not a good idea to bet on the Irish in 2007, that the Gophers will always find a heartbreaking way to blow it, and that England will always beat Estonia in soccer). I thought that when I found a way to open portals to the past, then I could use Back to the Future as my hilarious guide on how to handle sticky time travel situations, and in my most advanced fantasies, I would end up as some type of clairvoyant demigod.

But now that I am from the future - I regret to inform you - it's rather disappointing. The other day some friends were excited that I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry is opening in theaters, and I already know it's a crappy movie. Some kids were talking about High School Musical, to which I mention a dance from High School Musical 2, but they don't want to talk about it because it's not out yet (I realize that this was actually a winning situation for me).

This is the brutal but true side of being from the future that Doc Brown failed to mention. Having knowledge of things that have not yet happened makes you an outcast. No one likes the guy who can ruin the ending of a story, or tell you the final score of a sports game you haven't seen yet, or warn you against disappointing foreign candy. I'm from the future and nobody likes be because of it.

I suppose I should change plans and use Back to the Future II as my time travel guide, but the UK is still awaiting its release.

4 comments:

James Christopher said...

Well, watchout for yourself, if you are doing BTTF II. And keep the picture handy...if i start fading out, you're messing things up!

Keep writing!

Unknown said...

... i was definitely thinking about BTTF II yesterday... odd... but i was laughing at how the producers chose to show that Marty's neighborhood was bad: black people now lived in his house... nobody at the storyboard stage was like, whoa maybe we are being a little racist here?

Amanda said...

Hey B, now I'm up to date on your blog and I love it, keep them coming. You can be expecting a call from me sometime in the near future (which you should already know since you're living in the future), hopefully it will be at a decent time cuz I have i have no idea what our time difference is. talk to you soon!

Brandon Till said...

First off, I wasn't aware that Back to the Future had such a commonly known abbreviation. Secondly, BTTF is racist, but I never realized it. Third, I live 6 hours in the future.